Lee Iacocca admits K Car was a Prank

In his new book, "I'm the Mustang Guy," veteran automotive executive Lee Iacocca tells the world about behind the scenes dealings in the industry. In my opinion, The juiciest story is how the Chrysler K platform was the crux of a multi-company conspiracy. 

A Dodge Aries fresh off of the assembly line.

A Dodge Aries fresh off of the assembly line.

This whole thing started some time in 1977. I was playing poker with Henry Ford Jr, and I accidentally let it slip that I was being courted by Chrysler. Instead of getting mad, Ford saw this as an opportunity. A couple of Chrysler execs had broken into his stable the previous week, and had relations with his favorite horse. He needed a way to get back at them, and I was just the man for the job. Knowing that I have a severe gambling problem. Henry bet me 500 bucks that I couldn’t sabotage Chrysler from the inside, and I accepted.

Then we got to planning. We yelled during board meetings, to make it look like a rift was forming, and I was “fired” in 1978. I took my briefcase, walked over to the Chrysler office, and got to work putting a few more holes in an already sinking ship.

I told the engineers to design a new “K” platform. The motto of the K project was “Add Cheapness.” We made it front-wheel-drive, so there was no need for a complicated rear end, imported these 60’s lawn mower engines in from Japan, and called it a day. The marketers actually had the audacity to call the damn thing the Reliant. We must’ve laughed about that for weeks. I wasn’t quite confident that this car would kill Chrysler, so I started pissing on the hoods of Plymouths as they left the line. Just to make them rust a little bit faster. Ironically, the more I urinated, the more they would sell, and I became something of a good luck charm at that assembly plant.

In a shocking twist, the K Car became Chrysler’s best selling product of all time. Profits were high enough to pay all the debts they had acquired in the 70’s. I wasn’t quite ready to give up on my plan, so I told those dumbfucks to buy the corpse of AMC, and they ended up spinning Jeep into one of their most successful brands. I may have lost that 500 dollar bet, but made billions on top of it. I retired in 1992, and Chrysler continued to fail upwards again and again.
— Lee Iacocca "I'm the Mustang Guy"