Pansies at Toyota only ones not Cheating Emissions

For the past couple years, it seems like every vehicle manufacturer has been fudging the numbers on their diesel emissions. Writing lines of code that enable the engine to go into "Hippy Mode" when it's being tested by the EPA. DieselGate was every reporter and wannabe comedian's wet dream. VW ended up having to crush half a million cars, and pay $14 Billion to the owners. Then, slowly but surely, every big manufacturer was found to be cheating. Everyone, that is, except Toyota. 

How could this have happened? You used to be the cool guys, Toyota. GM wanted to be just like you. Now, you're just a bunch of lame-ass nerds. Whatever happened to the days of building 5 million cars with deadly floormats? Every week, some dumb-ass was slamming his Camry into a wall just to get on the evening news. That's the kind of scandal we thought we'd never see again. Then this big VW thing hit, and you totally missed the party. What the Hell?

                         What I'm sure the average Toyota employee looks like.                                                              Photo by LittleBee80/iStock / Getty Images

                         What I'm sure the average Toyota employee looks like.                                                              Photo by LittleBee80/iStock / Getty Images

In order to figure what turned the company into a bunch boy scouts. I was able to conduct a short E-mail conversation with Toyota USA CEO James Lentz, and this is what he had to say about the lack of scandal.

Yeah, we totally would’ve been on board with the whole emissions thing. We even had the code ready, but none of the other guys told us it was time to start. I’m afraid the other manufacturers just don’t like me any more. I stopped going to the intercompany lunches when the Ford CEO gave me an Indian Burn.
— James Lentz

Here's to hoping that Toyota dirties their act up real soon.