With Father's Day coming up in about 36 hours, it's time to find the perfect gift for dear old Dad. If your father is anything like mine, he hates gay people, and loves cars. So I'm gonna give you a cheat sheet of Father's Day gifts that are guaranteed to get your cylinderhead Dad all revved up.
The Classic Mug
In a pinch, nothing beats the mug. What other invention lets you hold liquid, and make a statement?
Even better than a mug. What other invention let's you cover up your disgusting chest, and make a statement?
I hear these "Man Onezies" are all the rage now, and for only $250, I can't think of a better way to rep the objectively best car manufacturer.
Two Tickets to Cars 3
The long awaited conclusion to Disney's Pixar's Cars trilogy has finally come, and I can only imagine the look on your old man's face when he sees the tickets you bought. Dad is a Lightning McQueen diehard, with posters and tattoos to prove it. Seeing this latest Chapter in the Cars epic will make him feel like he's been transported back to 2006, when his house was paid off, and the recession was just a twinkle in Obama's eye. Before he took out another mortgage to pay for your worthless communications degree. For those 80 minutes, he'll forget about all the disappointment that you've brought upon him.
The Bones of Paul Newman
Paul Newman was an Oscar winning actor, celebrated racing driver, and a hero to Dad's everywhere. I can't imagine a greater gift for Big Poppa than to have the remains of Butch Cassidy himself hanging over his mantle. Be warned, anyone on Ebay claiming to have Newman's Own skeleton is a scam artist. Only I can give you the hookup. DM @Motor_Friend and ask about "Salad Dressing."