Our story begins a few days ago, on a regular commute. On the interstate, I look to my left, and see a Dodge Journey coming up to pass me. It caught my eye because I noticed that the owner had installed an ugly chrome bumper up front. As it passed, I saw a badge reading "CrossRoad" and realized that the ugly chrome bumper was a mistake made from the factory.
So I get home, and I figure this tarted up Outlander is gonna be an easy target for ridicule. I Google Dodge Crossroad, and I get a more shocking result than I could have ever hoped for. Atop the page is a dealership ad reading, "2017 Dodge Journey."
How could this happen? I could've sworn they stopped making this thing five years ago, but the facts are staring me right in the face. Not only did they build the Journey, but they actually sold over 100,000 units in 2015 and 16. That's higher than Charger sales.
You're probably thinking to yourself, "If they sold so many, how come I never see them around?" This is a phenomenon that I've dubbed the "Journey Effect." The theory is that once a person looks at a car as boring as a Dodge Journey, it is mentally deleted as soon as it leaves their sight. A similar effect has been observed with Buick's entire current lineup. If not for the hideous front bumper, I'm sure I would've forgotten my Journey, as well.
If you are a current Journey owner, I recommend you take as many precautions as possible. Always keep an index card. Write down what you drive, and where you've parked. Include your spouse and kids' names just in case the Journey tries to take those memories with it. Owning a bland and and soul-sucking car can be a traumatic experience, but you can at least take solace in the fact that you didn't buy a Nitro.