How to Launch an Electric Car Startup in 6 Steps

Are you a 30-something white male looking to make a quick and easy 10 Million? If so, you better get on the tech startup bandwagon. These days, you have three options for a tech company, you can charge customers ridiculous amounts for basic services, you can develop an app that replaces your face with a roasted turkey, or you can build an electric car. I'm gonna tell you how to do that last one, in six over-simplified, easily digestible steps.

1. Find Investors

While this is the first step, it can also prove to be the most difficult. Failure to fund your project will mean a premature kibosh before you even come up with a name. The big secret is to get someone on board that's fortunate enough to have giant piles of money, but gullible enough not to ask any questions. It's a safe bet to target the children of former or current coke-head Wall Street bankers. 

2. Make a Rendering

You know that weird nephew you have? The one that smells like an entire can of Axe? The one that has a knife collection? The one that wears cat ears in public?

Pay him $20 to draw up a 3D model of your car

3. Time for Marketing

Send your shiny new rendering to all the top automotive sites. Make sure to tell them that it has 50 billion horsepower, and will drive light years in a single charge. In twelve hours time, you'll have every publication and their dogs praising it as the next "Tesla Killer."

4. Actually Build the Car

Now, when I say car, it can mean a number of things. It can be a running prototype, a glorified box on wheels, or an actual production vehicle. Whatever it takes to convince the press and investors that you are running a real company. With any luck, your car will inspire confidence, and you'll be able to collect enough money for step five...

5. Take the Money and Run

Building a car company from scratch seemed like fun at first, but after months of taking credit for your underlings work, you've realized how dull and time consuming it actually is. It's time to abandon your customer base, lay off your employees, and sell your company off to China.